I haven’t written a blog since May last year! It doesn’t feel like that long – but I guess since the theme of my posts was internet dating and how terrible it is, and then I stopped doing it, I didn’t have much left to write about. I just re-read my last post – I talked about the fact that being single meant I could sit around in tracksuits pants and watched House Hunters. And what am I doing now? Building a model airplane with my toes! Not really – I’m in my tracksuit pants watching House Hunters. I’m still single, obviously. Very much so. And I have done nothing to try and change my situation.
I do have some news – I might be moving overseas in the middle of the year, for a minimum of 12 months, which would be terrifying and exciting, but I won’t know for sure if I get to go until May. So what do I do when it feels like my time in my current location could be limited? Get back on the internet dating horse!
I have a friend who met a guy in Tinder a while ago and they moved in together and everything (not the friend mentioned in the last post, they’re still together) – turned out he was very good at hiding the fact that he was a dumpster fire of a human being, but it came out eventually and she made a break for it a few months ago. She recently went back to internet dating and has opted for Bumble over Tinder and now myself and another friend of ours are both hesitantly joining the fray.
I don’t mind Bumble, but it makes me laugh that after two years, I am recognising guys from Tinder that have also joined up. So ALL of them are still single, two years later? That makes me feel so much better. What did not make me feel better is that a guy I have written about previously as being a stalker and constantly swiping right on me on Tinder has now also swiped right on me four times on Bumble. I’ve been on it for three weeks.
I have swiped right on two guys – one guy I let go past the 24 hour ‘start a conversation’ limit and he was gone. I don’t really feel bad – he was a doctor (or at least said he was) and seemed like a nice guy so I’m sure he wasn’t lacking in ladies. I had matched with another guy, who I actually remembered from Tinder – I hadn’t swiped right on him and from memory (and if you’re wondering how I remember some guy from a dating site over two years later, it’s because my memory is bloody good), it was because his bio seemed a little down on himself – it had the line ‘I’m pretty average actually’. I have no issue with average people, I am a fairly average person, but something about it gave me a ‘depression’ vibe and I have my own issues with that (more so then, than now).
He seemed a bit more humorous on Bumble this time around, so I right swiped, left him sitting there for ages because I was nervous about starting a conversation, then used my ‘extend for 24 hours’ option (you get one extend per 24 hours), then about 2 hours later said hello. Actually, I didn’t say hello, I told my best dad joke, because he mentioned them in his bio. It took him around 14 hours to write back.
Over the last two weeks, we have exchanged a limited amount of messages – I’m happy to banter back and forth on apps like this for ages, but he seems to limit himself to only a few messages a day so it’s been quite stilted. To his credit, he did ask me out for a drink – he asked me on a Saturday, like ‘Want to get a drink some time?’ and I replied ‘Yeah, sure’ and he didn’t message back until Wednesday – I had been about to delete him. On the Wednesday we made plans for Friday night – Friday morning he cancelled, very apologetically. I said it was fine (it was – I dread meeting guys for the first time, so my anxiety dissipated the second the message came through), then he kind of vaguely explained that he prefers to work at night (he works for himself on computer stuff) and hadn’t gotten enough sleep. We were meant to meet at 8pm. He was messaging me in the morning. He could have gotten a full eight hours of shut eye and still had a couple of hours to get ready between sending me the cancellation message and when he was meant to meet me.
He said he was still looking forward to meeting me, and hasn’t messaged me since. I don’t know what to think – besides ‘How keen can someone be when they’ve cancelled a date and not spoken to me since?’
The answer is: