It was a while ago now, but the Bumble guy and I did eventually manage to go on a date – after he cancelled the first date we organised a second one, which he also cancelled after forgetting his mum was coming interstate to visit, but third time’s the charm, right?
We just met for a drink at a pub I pretended I had been to before when I hadn’t – it was just in an area I like and know well, so I knew where I could get a car park easily and he could catch the train. We actually sat and talked for about three hours which is longer than I can talk to a lot of people, but I knew it wasn’t going to work out. He expressed disinterest in travelling (I don’t understand people who don’t want to experience different countries and cultures) and when I asked what he did for fun, he said he consumed media and wasn’t into the outdoors. Each to their own obviously, I consume my fair share of media, but I also like being outside. Oh, his parents basically started their own religious cult at one stage as well, but they’re retired now. That was a surprise revelation. He said he saw his dad speak in tongues once. I can’t even conjure up a mental image of my dad doing any such thing, so I can’t imagine how weird it must be to see it in real life.
We hugged at the end and the next day sent ‘Thanks for meeting me!’ messages to each other, and then I didn’t hear from him again, even though he didn’t delete me from the app. After a week, I decided I was completely jack of the whole internet dating thing again and just deleted the app.
I met up with a few different friends last week that all had dating stories of varying levels of shittiness. Dating is so shitty. Ghosting is still my number one hated dating phenomenon. If you ghost people, you’re a coward and an asshole. Don’t for one second try and justify it by saying you ‘don’t want to hurt their feelings’. Grow a pair, tell the truth and save the other person a lot of hurt and confusion.
On a different tangent, I saw ‘I Feel Pretty’, (the new Amy Schumer movie) last week with some friends. It made me realise how sad it is that I have given up on dating because of how much I hate the way I look. I just think that no-one would ever find me attractive, so why bother putting myself through rejection after rejection? I never think about the fact that I’m pretty smart, that I can say funny things, that I’m loyal and reliable, etc. It just all comes down to how I think I look. And how I think others think I look. It sucks. I’ve tried to change and be more positive and have more self confidence, but it never lasts long – the only way I can not feel terrible about my appearance, is to not bring any attention to it at all.
In completely different news, turns out I will in fact be moving overseas at the end of July! I’ll be heading to Japan, for at least a year. People have already asked me ‘What happens if you find a man in Japan?’. Firstly – I am not going to Japan to find a guy. It is the last thing on my mind. I’m more concerned about how much toothpaste I should take with me than I am about looking for love. Also, I’m pretty sure I’m the personification of Godzilla in the eyes of most Japanese men, and I don’t know if many of them are into that. Seriously, I’ve been to Japan twice now, both times in summer – Japanese women are beautiful, ethereal beings, many are tinier and more feminine than anyone has a right to be, and they seemingly don’t sweat. I, on the other hand, am a lumbering sweaty beast that is constantly taking up too much room on the train.
Anyway. Japan! Woo!